When you finally name the thing that’s been stealing your time, you stop blaming yourself and start learning from it. For me that name was “maladaptive daydreaming.” Once I stopped trying to force myself to “just stop” and began to observe what was happening — when, where, and why — everything changed. Tracking gave me a map. Without the map, I was navigating by panic and shame.
This article is the practical part: a compact tracking system you can start today, how to use it for the first three weeks (the Gentle Assessment phase), and the exact mental stance that makes tracking work (curiosity, not punishment). These are the core building blocks I used to create my full 15-week programme.
Maladaptive daydreaming feels private and messy. That makes self-blame automatic: “If I cared enough, I wouldn’t do this.” But willpower treats symptoms; tracking finds causes.
Tracking does three things:
Turns vague shame into clear data. Instead of “I waste time,” you get “I drift at 3pm after lunch when I’m alone.”
Shows patterns you miss in real time. Triggers are often situational (transitions, low-energy moments, certain tasks).
Gives you leverage. Once you know the trigger, you can design a targeted intervention (environment tweak, micro-task, scheduled daydreaming).
Start with curiosity. Be a scientist of your inner life, not a judge.
You don’t need a spreadsheet to begin. Use a notebook or your phone notes app. Each evening write three lines:
Peak time for daydreaming today: morning / afternoon / evening / other
Biggest trigger: boredom / transitions / tiredness / avoidance / loneliness / other
One tiny experiment for tomorrow: (set a 25-minute timer for work, move to a brighter room, schedule a 10-minute intentional daydream, etc.)
Do this for seven nights. That’s your Week 1 map.
Why this works: it’s short (so you’ll actually do it) and it trains the habit of noticing. That noticing is the switch from autopilot to choice.
Now you have a rough when and why. Week 2 digs into what your daydreams are doing for you.
Each day, add a one-sentence note to your tracker:
Content theme: (romance, achievement, replaying conversations, escape, revenge fantasy, etc.)
Likely function: (escape from boredom, stimulation, processing emotion, social fulfilment, sense of achievement)
Example entry: “Afternoon — imagined a perfect meeting where I wowed the manager → function: craving competence/recognition.”
Understanding function matters because you don’t want to erase the need your daydreams are meeting — you want to meet it in reality or a healthier substitute. The programme calls this the “compassionate detective” approach.
Use weeks 1–2 data to create a personal profile:
Peak Times (when you’re most likely to get lost)
Typical Episode Length (10 min, 30 min, 2+ hours)
Top 3 Triggers
Most Helpful Quick Intervention (what cut an episode short this week?)
One focused goal (e.g., “Complete two 45-minute study blocks with no daydreaming longer than 10 minutes”)
Then set one simple intention for the coming week. Specific > vague. “I will do two 45-minute focus blocks on Tuesday and Thursday, using a timer and the physical-reset if I drift” beats “I’ll focus more.” This is the baseline you measure progress against.
When you notice you’re slipping, try one of these immediately (they’re in the programme and they work):
20-second physical reset: stand, stretch, three deep breaths. Then do one micro-task (place a book upright, refill a glass). The physical movement interrupts the loop.
The Gentle Bell: set a chime every 90 minutes and ask “Where is my attention?” Use the chime to practice a tiny pause.
Scheduled daydreaming: give yourself one 10–20 minute intentional daydream after a focused block — make it a reward, not a retreat. This reduces the runaway episodes.
Do these alongside your tracker. The tracker tells you when to use which intervention and whether it helped.
If a trigger appears 4+ times in a week, treat it as high priority. Design a specific plan for that trigger.
If average episode length decreases, even by 10–20%, that’s progress. Celebrate it.
If you repeatedly fail the tiny experiments, lower the bar: make the next experiment even smaller. Success builds momentum.
Remember: lapses are data, not failure. The programme frames setbacks as information you can use to tweak your plan.
Once you have a baseline and consistent noticing, the next phase is building foundations: morning anchors, environment adjustments, cognitive-flexibility practices, and scheduled daydreaming windows. These translate curiosity into muscle memory. That’s Weeks 4–7 in the programme — the part that turns noticing into real, repeatable control.
If this landed for you: start tonight. Do the three-line mini-tracker for seven days. In the next article I’ll share the exact morning anchor and gentle environment tweaks I used (week 4 stuff) so the noticing you just built can actually hold. You’re not alone in this — and the fact that you’re reading and tracking already means you’re moving in the right direction.